DaeilOSP.com » Siblings http://www.daeilosp.com Daeil Overseas Studies Program | Educating and US College Counseling to Korean Students Tue, 30 Nov 2010 21:23:08 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 After the difficult conversation http://www.daeilosp.com/2074/after-the-difficult-conversation/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=after-the-difficult-conversation http://www.daeilosp.com/2074/after-the-difficult-conversation/#comments Tue, 07 Sep 2010 17:05:09 +0000 Paul http://www.daeilosp.com/2074/after-the-difficult-conversation Having the Difficult Conversation

By Carolyn L. Rosenblatt, RN., B.S.N., domestic violence attorney las vegas at Law

Why is it so hard to talk to our aging parent about difficult subjects, such as getting older, needing help, or planning for being dependent?  Sometimes, the elder involved just can’t face it.  Sometimes, they are in denial about their own aging process and are afraid of the future. Who can blame them?  No one wants to picture one’s self needing help with walking, bathing, toileting or eating.  But, it must be done.  If crisis hits, and no one has addressed the subject of what the elder wants, it can be enormously stressful on the adult children.  Some of the stress can be avoided.  Parents are living longer, but that often means living with impairments of advanced age.  Everyone with an aging parent needs to have conversations about the future, and the possibility of needing help.

Sometimes, it is the adult child or children who refuse to look at the future. They want Mom or Dad to be fine, as they’ve always been.  They do not want to take over the role of “parenting” their own parent.  Yuck!  What it really means is that the parent is getting closer to the end of life, and we can’t bear the thought.  Denial is common on both sides. Some adult children avoid the subject of the future more than their own aging parents do.  Parents may already be confronting the issues of aging, as it is their bodies which are changing, slowing down, and in some ways, failing.  Their siblings, peers and friends may have died or become infirm. They are not strangers to the subject of what can happen.  Some organizations and individuals advocate the “70-40” timeframe.  That is, when your parent is 70 or older, and you are 40 or older, it is time to have those conversations.

If you find it very awkward to begin, pick a specific date.  Before a holiday, birthday, or other occasion which brings family together, you might suggest meeting with the parent(s) to talk about the future after the celebration.  For example, “Dad, after Mary’s birthday party, I’d like to stay over and have a family meeting.” Bring up the subject of planning what to do in case a parent has to go in the hospital. That is a good place to start.

If your aging parent is already showing some signs of needing help, such as struggling to keep track of finances, it’s time to bring up the subject of a Durable Power of domestic violence attorney las vegas for finances.  Sometimes one topic can open the door to others, such as getting some help in the home with shopping, cooking or laundry.  Don’t be discouraged if your aging loved one resists.  It’s normal.  Keep bringing it up, and keep trying.  Waiting until a crisis forces you to talk about it is foolish.  A crisis, such as a stroke or a serious fall, can deprive you of your chance for a discussion.

If you suspect that Dad or Mom needs help at home, or has a problem with driving, or needs other kinds of help, it’s a good idea to do your research before the conversation. Start in your parents’ community.  The area Agency on Aging can give you local resources.

Other tools are available to help you. The Boomer’s Guide to Aging Parents, a book I’ve written about how to talk to your elders about the future, and how to know the legal aspects of helping them can be found at AgingParents.com. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t wait for a crisis.

Ó 2009, Carolyn L. Rosenblatt, R.N., domestic violence attorney las vegas at Law and Dr. Mikol Davis, AgingParents.com.

After we send the conversation By Carolyn L. Rosenblatt, RN. BSN, domestic violence attorney las vegas at Law Why is it so difficult to talk with our elderly parents about difficult subjects, such as parents who need help planning or subject? Sometimes, only the oldest involved may sometimes does. They are in denial about their own aging process and are afraid of the future. Who can blame them? Nobody wants their picture you need help walking, bathing, washing or eating. However, it should be done. When crisis strikes, and no one has addressed the issue of what older people want, they can be extremely stressful for children than adults. Some stress can be avoided. Parents are living longer, but this often means living with a disability in old age. Anyone with an elderly parent should have discussions about the future and the chance to help. Sometimes the child or adult children who refuse

]]> http://www.daeilosp.com/2074/after-the-difficult-conversation/feed/ 0 Filipino Customs Of Wedding http://www.daeilosp.com/1833/filipino-customs-of-wedding/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=filipino-customs-of-wedding http://www.daeilosp.com/1833/filipino-customs-of-wedding/#comments Mon, 30 Aug 2010 17:12:36 +0000 Paul http://www.daeilosp.com/1833/filipino-customs-of-wedding Wedding celebrations is one of the most important event for couples. This is the one event that they would tie them together as a married couple not only through the eyes of the public, but also in the eyes of the church and of god. Although wedding celebrations vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries, and social classes, its ceremonies are usually similar. Most wedding ceremonies involve an exchange of wedding vows by the couple, presentation of a gift (offering, ring(s), symbolic item, flowers, money), and a public proclamation of marriage by an authority figure or leader. But usually, these wedding celebrations are governed by different sets of traditions. Filipino customs of wedding The groom usually wears the Barong Tagalog during the wedding, along with the male attendants, though nowadays the wealthy opt to don Western attire such as a tuxedo. Sukob: weddings held within the same year by two siblings, usually sisters, are frowned upon as it is regarded as bad luck. Some hold it that the wedding rings dropping to the ground is a portent of bad luck (this is usually said to the ringbearer to ensure that the child is careful in handling the rings). Money, in the form of paper bills, is sometimes taped or pinned to the groom and bride’s dress during the reception. In Batangas, a popular province in Philippines in terms of wedding celebrations, are also known for their traditions in wedding celebrations. Unlike the tradition of pinning money on the groom and bride’s dress during the reception, the Batangeños would usually hold this by calling in names of the groom and bride’s parents, relatives, and friends to pitch in their money in a basket or jar while the commentator announces how much they have given. This tradition is called “Sabog“. American influence wedding ceremonies The culture of Filipino weddings today have been largely inspired by United States customs such as sending wedding invites to the guests. Other popular wedding traditions inspired by United States customs include:
  • A color scheme is often selected to match everything from bridesmaids’ dresses, flowers, invitations, and decorations.
  • The bride usually wears a white, off-white, silver, or other very light colored dress, particularly at her first marriage.
  • A wedding ceremony takes place at a church, courthouse, or other location, such as an outdoor venue. The ceremony itself is usually brief, and is primarily dictated by the couple’s religious practices
  • Rice is sometimes thrown at the newlyweds as they leave the ceremony to symbolize fertility. Some individuals, churches or communities choose birdseed due to a false but widely believed myth that birds eating the rice will burst. Although the use of petals have become largely popular.
  • In a symbolic cutting of the wedding cake, the bride and groom jointly hold a cake knife and cut the first pieces of the wedding cake, which they feed to each other.
  • If dancing is offered, the bride and groom first dance briefly together. Often a further protocol is followed, wherein they dance next with a parent, and then possibly with other members of the wedding party.
  • In the mid-twentieth century it became common for the bride to toss her bouquet over her shoulder to the assembled unmarried women during the reception.
  • For more information visit to our site at http://philippineweddingplanner.com
]]> http://www.daeilosp.com/1833/filipino-customs-of-wedding/feed/ 0 You Don’t Know What You Have Unitl It’s Gone http://www.daeilosp.com/1723/you-dont-know-what-you-have-unitl-its-gone/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=you-dont-know-what-you-have-unitl-its-gone http://www.daeilosp.com/1723/you-dont-know-what-you-have-unitl-its-gone/#comments Fri, 20 Aug 2010 01:51:37 +0000 Paul http://www.daeilosp.com/1723/you-dont-know-what-you-have-unitl-its-gone  If I could only turn back the hands of time to May 2006. My husband and I were very young when we bought our first home. We fell in love with it the moment we walked in the door. We ran to the bank teller, took out a $2,000.00 cash advance on our credit cards and placed the required deposit on our dream home. We scraped every penny for an entire year while the home was under construction in order to have enough for the closing costs. Every Sunday on our way home from church we would go by the construction site and see the improvements and would take countless pictures of every phase of the construction. My boys would run around the empty lot and fight over whose room would be whose. One day before they laid the foundation my husband, my two children, and I wrote on a piece of paper, “In this house the foundation is Christ” we all signed it, and buried it under what was to be the master bedroom as a token of our appreciation to what God had provided for us. The next day the foundation was laid, sealing our promise. Finally, the move-in day arrived and, even though we only had milk crates for chairs and a barbeque grill for a kitchen, we felt like King and Queen of the castle. Our first home-the place we would raise our family! Even though my husband and I were teenage parents, we were the first of our siblings to own a home. We felt proud and accomplished. 

 

 

We purchased a home closer to the kid’s schools and all went well for the first few months. Even though the new home was grand, it had a superficial beauty which did not fill my soul. I soon realized I had made a big mistake but I was terrified to share this feeling with my husband. My husband and I would often drive by our old house to see what improvements the new owners had made. It was a way to quench our nostalgia. A year after moving, I still wrestled with the guilt for having left our first home.

 

About a year ago, I received a frantic call from my mother who insisted that I turn on the T.V. It was my old house on the widescreen, police tape around it. I immediately called my husband and kids and we all turned up the volume and gathered around the TV. I tried to focus on what the newswoman was repeating over and over, “Unbelievable, a family with children living inside a marijuana lab…”  Instantly my heart sank to the pit of my stomach. I couldn’t believe the irony. The home we dedicated to the Lord was being used as a drug lab. I could see the sadness in my oldest son’s eyes. My youngest son was confused and did not quite understand what was happening. My husband was devastated and I felt responsible for convincing him to move. I knew immediately that God was sending ME a message. The contract our family buried under the ground was being enforced!

 

I do not know what happened to the family who lived there but I found out today that the home will be auctioned to the lowest bidder on November 6, 2009.  Tonight as I laid in bed something told me to Google the address, and the first link that came up was the auction announcement. I was shocked to find out that it was actually just announced yesterday. It’s like if something was telling me to look.

 

I would trade my current home for my old home in a heart-beat. You really don’t know what you have until it’s gone. I live this cliché daily and regret the day I placed that FOR SALE sign on my front lawn. My family belongs in that home and I truly believe God wants us there. If I could only turn back the hands of time.

 

I hope you enjoy this story and please know that it is ALL real. My advice for everyone is: hold on to the things you love and don’t be quick to trade them for what you feel is better or more practical. Most of the times our instincts know best!  I still have not figured out how I’m going to get my home back, but I know God will find a way.

]]> http://www.daeilosp.com/1723/you-dont-know-what-you-have-unitl-its-gone/feed/ 0 Classic or gourmet BBQ sauce for the steak? http://www.daeilosp.com/835/classic-or-gourmet-bbq-sauce-for-the-steak/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=classic-or-gourmet-bbq-sauce-for-the-steak http://www.daeilosp.com/835/classic-or-gourmet-bbq-sauce-for-the-steak/#comments Sat, 26 Jun 2010 22:36:23 +0000 Paul http://www.daeilosp.com/835/classic-or-gourmet-bbq-sauce-for-the-steak When I used to be a kid, I had a dog named Prince. I didn’t name him, he came that way, he also came with the sort of bad attitude only a small dog can have. Prince was some kind of spaniel dachshund mix, and was sort of funny looking, but he was also extraordinarily loyal, he loved everyone in the family, and he was a brilliant watchdog. The one thing that scared him was fireworks, and each fourth of July, at the first bang of the first firecracker he would disappear for one or two days.

My siblings and I adored the fourth. Back then, you could buy any amount of digital finger pulse oximeter dumping small explosives, and we always stocked up. We also loved the 4th

We’d invite the neighbors and have a gigantic cook-out from about 2 in the afternoon, until midnight.

Up to that time, I did not know a skunk could spray on the run, but that is’s just what it probably did, as Prince closed in. That skunk gave him both barrels, and then some. It all occurred so fast, my uncle and I did not have time to get within, but the skunk was far enough away from us, so we didn’t get sprayed. Prince, on the other hand, was embarrassed that some kind of cat-like animal had bested him, and failed to even notice how terrible he smelled, being a fan of sharp odors, like all dogs are. He ran back to us for a sympathy pat, which he did not get.
He then dumped the whole thing on Prince. ‘Tomato juice will get rid of that skunk smell, and there’s some of that in my bbq sauce, along with a whole lot of other things which smell way better than skunk.’ He was right, Prince smelled miles better, so I grabbed the hose to rinse him off, just as my little brother sparked his first firecracker of the day. He disappeared every fourth, so we didn’t worry too much, but he had’d not done it covered in bbq sauce.

two days later, as one of our neighbours was cleaning out his back shed, he smelled what he believed was barbecue wafting up from under the floor. He lifted up one of the boards, and there was Prince, snoozing away, wearing a two-day-old coat of barbecue sauce. I took him home, washed him off, and everything was fine, but till the day he trotted off to doggie heaven, he carried a faint smell of my Uncle Lou’s spicy bbq sauce.

.

When I use a child had a dog named Prince. It was not my name, “he came in this way, he also met with the kind of bad attitude just a little dog can have. The Prince was a kind of spaniel dachshund mix, and was kind of weird out, but was also extremely loyal, loving everyone in the family and was to control a brilliant body. The only thing it was a firework display, and disappear every Fourth of July, the first explosion of the fireworks at first for fear of a day or two.

My brothers and I loved the room. At that time you could use any number of digital finger pulse oximeters of small explosives dumping, and always in stock buying. We also like the fourth

d 'invite the neighbors and have a huge cookout of about 14:00 to midnight.

Until then, I did not know a skunk can splash the race, but that 's exactly what she was doing well, as Prince inch closed skunk gave both barrels, and much more. It all happened so fast, my uncle and I had had no time for internal skunk but far enough away from us, so we got 't sprayed. Prince was ashamed, however, that a kind of similar animalsk odor, and not 's something that in my barbecue sauce, along with a lot of other things that are better than the skunk smell. 'He had quite a smell, Prince miles better and grabbed the hose to rinse off, like my little brother fireworks caused the first of the day. He disappeared a quarter, so we 't worry too much, but he ' d not covered in barbecue sauce.

two days later as one of our neighbors was cleaning the back hall, smelled what he believed was the barbecue of floating under the floor. He raised one of the tables, and it was the prince, sleeping away, with a coat of two-day-old barbecue sauce. I brought him home, cleaned him, and everything was fine, but the dog trotted up to the day sky, a slight odor of bear my uncle Lou 's spicy barbecue sauce.

.

]]> http://www.daeilosp.com/835/classic-or-gourmet-bbq-sauce-for-the-steak/feed/ 0 Dharma Talks MP3 – Rocket Hindi Review http://www.daeilosp.com/798/dharma-talks-mp3-rocket-hindi-review-2/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=dharma-talks-mp3-rocket-hindi-review-2 http://www.daeilosp.com/798/dharma-talks-mp3-rocket-hindi-review-2/#comments Sat, 19 Jun 2010 18:38:50 +0000 Paul http://www.daeilosp.com/798/dharma-talks-mp3-rocket-hindi-review-2 Due to severe international competition, more and more enterprises moved their technology or service centres to India. Because India has a competitive labour price and is one of the best technical support spot of the world. Hindi, as the most widely spread language of India, is becoming more and more important for those business men.

Get Your FREE Rocket Hindi 6-Day Sample Course!

Nikita Sharma, the creator of the Rocket Hind, a online Hindi learning program, has given those employees who want to learn Hindi in a easy, comfortable and effective way, a method. Rocket Hindi provides learners 13-hour-long audio tracks which can be easily download from their website into your >Dharma Talks MP3 players or laptop. These audio tracks were made by native Hindi speakers of everyday dialogues. Learners do not need to worry that they speak outdated phrases. One also can listen and practice modern and standard Hindi at any time he wants. As we can not live in the environment where we can hear and practice Hindi with our parents and siblings everyday, so that we need some grammar and culture lessons to help us have a better understanding and recollection of the language. Rocket Hindi also provides 31 illustrated grammar and culture lessons, as well as Mega Vocab software learning game. One will not get bored of this difficult language which is written in Devanagari script, very different from Latin script. One may ask where he can seek for help for this course is an online program. Rocket Hindi has a life long member-only Hindi learner forum, where learners can ask questions 24 hours a day. Learners also can email Nikita Sharma personally.

All in all, I can assure those potential Hindi learners; this program is one the best Hindi learning course I have ever seen, quite affordable with high quality. This program is especially wonderful for those English speakers. If you want to speak standard and fluently Hindi in a short period of time,  Join this program as soon as possible.

]]> http://www.daeilosp.com/798/dharma-talks-mp3-rocket-hindi-review-2/feed/ 0 Dharma Talks MP3 – Rocket Hindi Review http://www.daeilosp.com/663/dharma-talks-mp3-rocket-hindi-review/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=dharma-talks-mp3-rocket-hindi-review http://www.daeilosp.com/663/dharma-talks-mp3-rocket-hindi-review/#comments Sun, 13 Jun 2010 23:24:26 +0000 Paul http://www.daeilosp.com/663/dharma-talks-mp3-rocket-hindi-review Due to severe international competition, more and more enterprises moved their technology or service centres to India. Because India has a competitive labour price and is one of the best technical support spot of the world. Hindi, as the most widely spread language of India, is becoming more and more important for those business men.

Get Your FREE Rocket Hindi 6-Day Sample Course!

Nikita Sharma, the creator of the Rocket Hind, a online Hindi learning program, has given those employees who want to learn Hindi in a easy, comfortable and effective way, a method. Rocket Hindi provides learners 13-hour-long audio tracks which can be easily download from their website into your >Dharma Talks MP3 players or laptop. These audio tracks were made by native Hindi speakers of everyday dialogues. Learners do not need to worry that they speak outdated phrases. One also can listen and practice modern and standard Hindi at any time he wants. As we can not live in the environment where we can hear and practice Hindi with our parents and siblings everyday, so that we need some grammar and culture lessons to help us have a better understanding and recollection of the language. Rocket Hindi also provides 31 illustrated grammar and culture lessons, as well as Mega Vocab software learning game. One will not get bored of this difficult language which is written in Devanagari script, very different from Latin script. One may ask where he can seek for help for this course is an online program. Rocket Hindi has a life long member-only Hindi learner forum, where learners can ask questions 24 hours a day. Learners also can email Nikita Sharma personally.

All in all, I can assure those potential Hindi learners; this program is one the best Hindi learning course I have ever seen, quite affordable with high quality. This program is especially wonderful for those English speakers. If you want to speak standard and fluently Hindi in a short period of time,  Join this program as soon as possible.

]]> http://www.daeilosp.com/663/dharma-talks-mp3-rocket-hindi-review/feed/ 0 The 7 Secrets of Highly Successful Students http://www.daeilosp.com/232/the-7-secrets-of-highly-successful-students-2/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-7-secrets-of-highly-successful-students-2 http://www.daeilosp.com/232/the-7-secrets-of-highly-successful-students-2/#comments Mon, 13 Jul 2009 05:56:59 +0000 Victor http://www.daeilosp.com/?p=232 What does it cost a student to go to college without any idea of how to manage the process? It may cost a lot. Students who have knowledgeable parents or older siblings to guide them can finesse the process, earn higher grades, get along better with faculty, solve problems with the business office, and so on. But students who are the first in their family to go to college have no one to guide them, and their mistakes can cost them that awesome post-college job, or access to the best graduate schools.
This is not about being smart. This is about being savvy. So from our notes scribbled on a stack of paper napkins, here is what savvy students know that others seem to miss:

1. Grades are engineered, not “earned”
A savvy student wants to earn as many A’s as possible, as few B’s as possible, and avoid C’s at all costs.
So how do you engineer your GPA? Class-shop at the beginning of each semester. Sign up for more classes than you can possibly take, and drop boring or difficult professors sometime in the first two weeks. (It won’t show up on your transcripts.) If you get a bad exam or quiz score, ask the professor what you can do to earn extra credit. Reading an optional book, writing a one- or two-page paper, or even just helping the prof out with mundane tasks such as setting up for class can push you back into the A column.
If you’re not earning the grade you want in a class, negotiate an “incomplete” grade, then do whatever it takes to get that I turned into an A or at least a B. (Be warned, some profs won’t give an A on an incomplete, no matter what you do). Or, worst case scenario, drop the class before finals. You don’t want to do this a lot, but a “withdrawal” or two stamped on your transcript is much better than a low GPA.
Get involved with study groups, and your GPA will likely go up. Take a light load during the semester when you have a known difficult class, such as organic chemistry. And finally, be sure to take enough of a class load that you can ditch a bad class without dropping below minimum credits, especially if you’re on financial aid or your parents are strict about the four-year plan.

2. Visit professors outside of class
Professors are people, too. They worry about being liked, whether they’re gaining a few pounds and whether or not they’re good at their jobs. So go visit them. Ask them for clarification of some point they made in class. Try out your paper or lab ideas on them to see if you’re headed in the right direction. Ask them the best way to study for the exams.
It’s probably not a great idea to focus on grades only, as in “What do I need to do to earn an A in your class?” Get your professors to help you be a better student. And maybe ask, “Have you lost a little weight?”

3. Prerequisites matter
Naïve students always want to go around prerequisites and take any class that interests them. This is unwise. Prerequisites are in place to make sure you have the skills you need to do well in a class, so skipping them is perilous. Don’t take “Population Biology” until you’ve had “Math 321″ or you’ll be sorry. If you think you don’t need the prereq, contact the professor and find out before you sign up for the class.

4. Internships are required, not optional
The norm now is two internships, not just one, so you have to build them into your summers starting at the end of the sophomore year. Recruiters look at students without internships as deficient, no matter how strong the GPA and rigor of the curriculum. Earning money on a fishing boat may be great for the first summer, but those other two summers need to be used for internships to support your post-college career or grad school plans. You can find a paid internship if you need the money, or a part-time internship combined with a part-time job. Savvy students know this, and un-savvy students go fishing.

5. Study abroad in the sophomore year, not the junior
The junior year is a time to concentrate on your major and get the most out of your department. If you’re abroad, you can’t do that. Plus, some students get distracted by drinking in Naples, or that cute French guy or gal in Nice, and blow their GPA during the study abroad. Grad schools and employers care most about your GPA in the final two years of college, and if you go abroad in the junior year those grades are prominent. Finally — and don’t tell anyone — but most sophomores aren’t 21 yet. In most of the world, the drinking age, official and unofficial, is much younger than that. So…

6. Read your handbook and catalog
How many credits make a full-time course load? How many classes do you have to take to major in X or minor in Y or double major in X and Y? What’s the last date to drop a class without it appearing on your transcript? Is there any place to get a short-term, emergency loan? If you retake a class, do both grades appear, or does the first grade disappear? These are the kinds of questions that your catalog and handbook answer.
Here’s a massive tip: The rules in the course catalog that’s published when you begin your college career often apply until you graduate, even if the rules change. So keep that catalog! Don’t rely on your adviser or your professors for rules and regulations. They might not know them very well anyway, and you’ll pay the penalty for following bad advice.

7. It takes the entire senior year to get launched from college
No matter what your major, the career center can help you get a job or apply to graduate school. Naïve students don’t worry about life after college until they’ve graduated. They miss a huge chance. You’re only a college senior once in your life. Participate in the on-campus interview process, because it’s part of the college experience and it’s there for every undergraduate. English majors and philosophy majors can get great jobs out of college, but not if they’re hiding out in the game room dissecting Kant and Bukowski and griping about how nobody gives them a chance. Spend the entire senior year making sure that come June, you know where you’re going. That’s what the savvy students do.

About the Author:
Donald Asher is the author of 10 books on careers and higher education, including Cool Colleges for the Hyper-Intelligent, Self-Directed, Late Blooming and Just Plain Different and Graduate Admissions Essays, the best-selling guide to the graduate admissions process.

]]> http://www.daeilosp.com/232/the-7-secrets-of-highly-successful-students-2/feed/ 0 The 7 Secrets of Highly Successful Students http://www.daeilosp.com/230/the-7-secrets-of-highly-successful-students/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-7-secrets-of-highly-successful-students http://www.daeilosp.com/230/the-7-secrets-of-highly-successful-students/#comments Mon, 13 Jul 2009 05:53:03 +0000 Victor http://www.daeilosp.com/?p=230 What does it cost a student to go to college without any idea of how to manage the process? It may cost a lot. Students who have knowledgeable parents or older siblings to guide them can finesse the process, earn higher grades, get along better with faculty, solve problems with the business office, and so on. But students who are the first in their family to go to college have no one to guide them, and their mistakes can cost them that awesome post-college job, or access to the best graduate schools.
This is not about being smart. This is about being savvy. So from our notes scribbled on a stack of paper napkins, here is what savvy students know that others seem to miss:
1. Grades are engineered, not “earned”
A savvy student wants to earn as many A’s as possible, as few B’s as possible, and avoid C’s at all costs.
So how do you engineer your GPA? Class-shop at the beginning of each semester. Sign up for more classes than you can possibly take, and drop boring or difficult professors sometime in the first two weeks. (It won’t show up on your transcripts.) If you get a bad exam or quiz score, ask the professor what you can do to earn extra credit. Reading an optional book, writing a one- or two-page paper, or even just helping the prof out with mundane tasks such as setting up for class can push you back into the A column.
If you’re not earning the grade you want in a class, negotiate an “incomplete” grade, then do whatever it takes to get that I turned into an A or at least a B. (Be warned, some profs won’t give an A on an incomplete, no matter what you do). Or, worst case scenario, drop the class before finals. You don’t want to do this a lot, but a “withdrawal” or two stamped on your transcript is much better than a low GPA.
Get involved with study groups, and your GPA will likely go up. Take a light load during the semester when you have a known difficult class, such as organic chemistry. And finally, be sure to take enough of a class load that you can ditch a bad class without dropping below minimum credits, especially if you’re on financial aid or your parents are strict about the four-year plan.
2. Visit professors outside of class
Professors are people, too. They worry about being liked, whether they’re gaining a few pounds and whether or not they’re good at their jobs. So go visit them. Ask them for clarification of some point they made in class. Try out your paper or lab ideas on them to see if you’re headed in the right direction. Ask them the best way to study for the exams.
It’s probably not a great idea to focus on grades only, as in “What do I need to do to earn an A in your class?” Get your professors to help you be a better student. And maybe ask, “Have you lost a little weight?”
3. Prerequisites matter
Naïve students always want to go around prerequisites and take any class that interests them. This is unwise. Prerequisites are in place to make sure you have the skills you need to do well in a class, so skipping them is perilous. Don’t take “Population Biology” until you’ve had “Math 321″ or you’ll be sorry. If you think you don’t need the prereq, contact the professor and find out before you sign up for the class.
4. Internships are required, not optional
The norm now is two internships, not just one, so you have to build them into your summers starting at the end of the sophomore year. Recruiters look at students without internships as deficient, no matter how strong the GPA and rigor of the curriculum. Earning money on a fishing boat may be great for the first summer, but those other two summers need to be used for internships to support your post-college career or grad school plans. You can find a paid internship if you need the money, or a part-time internship combined with a part-time job. Savvy students know this, and un-savvy students go fishing.
5. Study abroad in the sophomore year, not the junior
The junior year is a time to concentrate on your major and get the most out of your department. If you’re abroad, you can’t do that. Plus, some students get distracted by drinking in Naples, or that cute French guy or gal in Nice, and blow their GPA during the study abroad. Grad schools and employers care most about your GPA in the final two years of college, and if you go abroad in the junior year those grades are prominent. Finally — and don’t tell anyone — but most sophomores aren’t 21 yet. In most of the world, the drinking age, official and unofficial, is much younger than that. So…

6. Read your handbook and catalog
How many credits make a full-time course load? How many classes do you have to take to major in X or minor in Y or double major in X and Y? What’s the last date to drop a class without it appearing on your transcript? Is there any place to get a short-term, emergency loan? If you retake a class, do both grades appear, or does the first grade disappear? These are the kinds of questions that your catalog and handbook answer.
Here’s a massive tip: The rules in the course catalog that’s published when you begin your college career often apply until you graduate, even if the rules change. So keep that catalog! Don’t rely on your adviser or your professors for rules and regulations. They might not know them very well anyway, and you’ll pay the penalty for following bad advice.
7. It takes the entire senior year to get launched from college
No matter what your major, the career center can help you get a job or apply to graduate school. Naïve students don’t worry about life after college until they’ve graduated. They miss a huge chance. You’re only a college senior once in your life. Participate in the on-campus interview process, because it’s part of the college experience and it’s there for every undergraduate. English majors and philosophy majors can get great jobs out of college, but not if they’re hiding out in the game room dissecting Kant and Bukowski and griping about how nobody gives them a chance. Spend the entire senior year making sure that come June, you know where you’re going. That’s what the savvy students do.

The information was written by Don Asher. Donald Asher is the author of 10 books on careers and higher education, including Cool Colleges for the Hyper-Intelligent, Self-Directed, Late Blooming and Just Plain Different and Graduate Admissions Essays, the best-selling guide to the graduate admissions process.

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